Three Years of Being Keen on Kindness

Dear Readers,

When I was in the middle of graduate school, I started to work with children, and saw the need for a kinder world for them to grow up in. After months of planning, I decided to start a blog on kindness, accepting yourself and others, and inclusion. As someone who has experienced bullying firsthand in childhood, I never wanted anyone to feel that they were alone or without a friend. Everyone has value and brings something to the world that no one else can. I made it my goal to be a safe space for those who need it, to empower those who need a friend, and to encourage kindness warriors to spread light in the darkness. Over the last three years, it has been my mission to use my experiences and passion for advocacy, kindness, and pediatric behavioral health in order to better the world we live in. Be Kind. Be You. A better tomorrow starts when kindness leads. Over the last three years, the platform has grown so much, and has made such an impact on many readers all over the world. I feel honored and blessed to play a small role in making the world a kinder and more inclusive place for all children.

Love,

Dr. Kennedy

Want to See the Kindness? Be the Kindness!

In the busy world that we live in, we can often look for goodness and kindness in the world, and often be left feeling disappointed by how truly unkind others can be. I know that I have been there! I truly believe in the good of others, and that everyone has something to offer this world. Everyone is unique and brings something special to this world that no one else can. Day to day, the world can often feel like a loud and selfish place. I encourage you to look past the actions of others if they come off as unkind, and to not let this impact the kindness you show the world. If we let others to stop us from being kind due to their own unkindness, we are just decreasing the kindness in the world even more. I encourage you to increase kindness even more in these situations, and to be the kindness that you wish to see. You will be shining a light of love into the darkness that someone may be experiencing. You never know someone’s situation, and what the reasoning behind their actions are. Everyone has a story. I hope that you, Kindness Warrior, never stop being kind, even if the world seems like an unkind place sometimes. These are the times the world needs us the most. Want to see more kindness? I encourage you to be the kindness. It is amazing what being kind can and, not only for those around us, but for ourselves as well. Kindness always wins!

Be Kind and Be You,

Dr. Kennedy

A Kindness Challenge for Back to School

As summer winds down and comes to an end, this welcomes in another school year. This can mean a new classroom, a new teacher, new classes, and new extra curriculars. With all of these new experiences, I challenge you to make room for new friends. I am not saying to get rid of old friends, however, open your heart to the possibility of making new friends too. You never know what point in someone’s story you are joining. Someone could be going through the roughest chapter in their story and will need a kind and caring friend to be there for them during their storm. Someone could be in the best chapter yet, and feel they have no one to celebrate with them. I challenge you to show kindness to others no matter what chapter of your life you are in. If you are struggling to see the kindness, be the kindness. If enough of us show kindness to others, there will be a lot more inclusion. Always be the person to make more room at their table, never to make someone feel lesser for not having a chair. Invite someone new to sit with you at lunch this year. You never know who you will meet and the lessons they might teach you! Always be the reason someone feels included, not excluded. Be the reason someone sees their own inner beauty, reflected by your love and acceptance of them. As this school year starts, be the reason someone knows they are special and important.

You may never know the impact your actions may have on someone, and that is ok, but I promise you, you will never regret making someone else feel valued, however, you may always regret making them feel the need to sell themselves short.

Be kind, and be you.

Kennedy

Kindness to Self Is Utilizing and Honoring Your Gifts

Have you ever felt so comfortable with partaking in a skillset that the experience brings you joy? When we look introspectively and can truly sense what we are good at, we are able to better utilize our gifts. When we are able to identify our gifts, we are better able to identify our skillset, and then embark on a journey to put purpose to our passion. You see, you can be good at something, and it not be your passion, however, when the challenges are outweighed by the feeling of joy that the experience brings, and you want to dive even deeper into the challenges in order to solve issues, then it becomes a passion. You will do whatever it takes to reach the goal, to obtain the credentials to allow you to do the desired position.

Many times, this joy comes with using our gifts, combined with our passion, to serve others. For me personally, the greatest joy imaginable is helping children with special needs to be able to maintain behaviors that are socially acceptable, and that will serve them well in all aspects of life and human interaction. When you connect your drive, passion, and gifts, we are honoring ourselves, by utilizing our gifts well, and are honoring our purpose in life.

No matter what you do, who you become, and where you are, if you are utilizing your gifts to serve not only yourself, but also others, the world will be a much kinder place.

Love,

Kennedy Paron, DBH

God Made You Just the Way He Wanted YOU to Be

So many times we can get caught up in the world’s ideals of perfection. We can think we are not good enough and compare ourselves to others. The truth is; everyone has a story that we are unaware of. The girl with the “perfect” body may struggle with self-esteem issues. The guy who is the star at sports may be his own harshest critique. The truth is, everyone wants to be like someone else in some capacity. We need to learn to be kind to ourselves and realize that God made us just the way He wanted to. Our flaws are beautiful in His eyes. Each of us has things we would change, but part of being kind to ourselves, and to God, is to look at ourselves as a work of art made by the Lord. When we look at the being that made the most prominent artists in the world, and decided the world needed one of us in it too, it makes the feelings of wanting to change sound silly. The same God that made the ocean, the mountains, the most beautiful sunsets, also decided we are needed too. When we look to the sky and see a beautiful sunset, we admire the beauty. Seldom do we say its beautiful, but it needs more pink or orange. We do not critique other masterpieces of God, so why do we critique ourselves so harshly? When we look at the beauty in others, it is so easy to compliment them. We see God’s beautiful hand in their creation. We need to remember we are equally a beautiful creation, one in which God felt we needed every flaw as part of our work of art, our unique display. Finally, when you see something beautiful in someone, let them know. It will make them feel good, and it is complimenting one of God’s works of art, much like a living prayer.

Love,

Kennedy

Two Whole Years of Being Keen On Kindness

As I sit here and reflect on the two years since my brainchild, Keenonkindness.org, came into prurition, there is so much gratitude that comes to mind. Feelings of hope. Feelings of thankfulness. Feelings of happiness. Looking back on the woman I was two years ago when I started this blog, I cannot help but think she would be proud of the woman I am now, and the positive changes that I have made. I have tried to make a difference in the lives of others through this platform. I encourage others, to include others, and choose a kinder path on the daily. This is what I stand for, and what I live for! This Fall begins a big transition for me. I went from preschool teacher, to Assistant Director of a school I love! I earned my masters. I got married!!! I got a diagnosis after praying day in and day out for one for so long. I also started my Doctorate in Behavioral Health in order to better serve the pediatric population. I take a large interest in international research, and enjoy international pediatric behavioral health research most of all! I truly have had so much personal growth in the last two years, but one thing remains. That is, a kinder tomorrow starts with YOU. As the school year has started, I encourage everyone to pick a new friend to sit with at lunch, invite the child who is having a hard time finding friends to sit with at lunch to sit with them, and to have conversations based on interest and intellect instead of shallow topics that will get you no deeper into a friendship than when you started the conversation. Pick your friends based on values! This is so important. It does not matter what is on the outside, or if someone looks different than you, do not be afraid to open yourself up to their friendship. You never know who you will meet. You may meet your best friend, the sibling you always prayed for, your maid of honor someday, or the auntie to your kids in the future. You never know what someone is going through, so always look for the better in them. One smile or kind act could change the trajectory of their whole day. Never be afraid to stand up for what you believe in. If someone is being treated poorly, let others know this is not okay. Never let anyone put a negative spin on your dreams, because they are YOUR dreams for a reason! Do what makes you happy, and makes you feel most like you! I pray that over the last two years this blog has brought you peace, joy, and a kinder tomorrow.

If you have read this blog the last two years, please write me an email, or fill out the contact form. I love hearing, even anonymously, how this blog has helped others.

Love,

Kennedy

Saying That You Are An Anti-Bullying Ally and Acting Like One Are Two Different Things

It is great to say that you are an anti-bullying ally, but do you know what that truly means? Will you back It up with your actions? If you see someone getting bullied would you intervene and step in to help them? If the answers are yes to these questions, you are a true ally.

It breaks my heart to see children that sit alone at lunch time. If you see someone sitting alone, invite them over to sit with you. You never truly know the value someone has to offer the world until you give them a chance to be your friend, and this starts through conversation. When I say value to give to the world, I mean through their creativity, laugh, attitude, interests, intellect, and everything else that is beautiful and unique about them.

If you see someone getting looked down upon or not included in a group, go out of your way to include them. Even the most extraverted person can be shy when it comes to including themselves. I deal with that personally. I am quick to make conversation with others, as I am a bubbly person, but when it comes to including myself in plans, I always have felt uncomfortable doing that, and constantly feel left out, even if I am not putting myself out there to be included. When you see someone not actively trying to participate, remember that they are quite possibly doing all that they can and know how to do to be included, so meet them halfway. You quite possibly could meet your best friend by doing so, you just need to get to know everyone!

Many times, society views popularity on if someone has a clique of girls, usually 3 to four who are best friends and are viewed by others as superior due to excluding everyone else. I would like to challenge this mindset! You should measure your popularity on who you include instead of who you exclude. By the definition of popularity, it can be found that the more people who like you, the more popular you are. It is only right that the true popularity is used again, the more people that we let in and allow to love us, and that we show love to, the more popular we are. Always remember, be inclusive, not exclusive. Be Kind, Be You!

Love,

Kennedy

I Hear of Young Girls Getting Bullied Almost Daily, And I Am Sick Of It!

Not that long ago, I sat in the same space as some of our young readers. Being over eager to know what others thought, and what their opinions were, because as kind as I would be to others, it was not often reciprocated. It is not an easy place to be in when your kindness and love of others is taken advantage of, especially by those you call friends. Unfortunately, when you are a person who is kind to everyone, the world can see this as a huge weakness and they think that they can walk all over you. I am here to tell you that it honestly is your biggest strength!

I have been someone time and time again who has seen the best of friends take advantage of how giving I am. It honestly is a hard pill to swallow that not every person you meet and love will ever be as kind as you. You must come to terms with the fact that what you view as basic and essential in a friendship is so obsolete in the minds of others. If you have not bullied another person, hold your head high, be secure in yourself, and realize that the reason others bully is due to their own insecurities and short-comings. I am proud to say that even though I have been mistreated by girls in the past, I have never bullied. I opened my arms, my heart, and was never closed off with my love and appreciation for those who truly matter.

Girls, never let anyone tare you down. Do not let them drag you down, you do NOT belong down there. Do not allow them to make you so angered that you get on their level, for you are much better than they will ever be. Keep being you. Keep being kind. In the end, those who bully you will envy where you end up, I promise you! Keep prospering, keep shining, keep accomplishing. Realize that there are adults that love you, that know the importance of being kind and loving others. I am one of those adults, and will always rally for a kinder tomorrow. Until then, keep your pretty head up! Do not be afraid to stand up for yourself, because this is being kind to yourself by doing so. If your friend was being picked on you would stand up for them, so why not stand up for your bestfriend, yourself!?! The bullying needs to end. I am so sick of it, and instead of taring each other down, compliment someone. It is so transparent that when you rip others on their characteristics, that you wish you had a gift that God has given them and not you. Be kinder! :) A kinder tomorrow starts with you! I want this website to serve as a safe haven for those effected by bullying. Please know that you are so important to this world! The road to realizing your self worth is winding and rocky, but once you do, you can cruise into your destiny!

Love,

Kennedy

Part of Being Kind to Yourself Is Realizing that Other's Opinions of You Do NOT Matter

When searching my heart for the next topic to write about, I feel as though this one was laid on my heart. DO WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY! It is that simple. Those who try to diminish your fire are sad, sad, human beings. With my genuine love for life, joy, and kindness, I was often accused in life of being fake. This stung beyond belief that being me was seen as an act. Be you anyways! If people view you as something that you are not, just laugh and realize that those are not your people.

For so long I thought it was a flaw of my own that many did not see my authentic self as genuine, especially in high school. Some of the people I thought were my best friends were proven to be backstabbers only out for themselves. Realize that when people rip you down that they are really made so insecure by how bright you shine that they do not know how to rise to your level. Jealousy is an ugly thing that helps others to deflect their vile feelings of themselves onto who they feel most threatened by. If I could take a minute and go back in time I would tell myself to keep being my genuine self and to not let the harsh opinions of others dull how I shined. I feel that this is so key for young girls to realize. In the end, would you really want to be as miserable as those who put you down? I think not!

To those reading this I hope you shine so bright that anyone who puts you down is blinded by your truth. I pray you are blessed with self confidence and that you do not let the opinions of others stop you from being your most genuine self. Finally, if you are reading this and you have ever tried to knock me down for being my positive and kind self, I hope this finds you in a better place, you truly need it.

Love,

Kennedy

Am I Being Kind to Myself?

Often times, we tend to be a society that judges others without a second thought. Some theorists relate the innate, yet subconscious ability to pass judgement upon a glance goes back to the days of the cavemen. From an evolutionary standpoint, we judge others in order to stay alive. It was part of the fight or flight reaction in which we access someone as either a threat or something harmless.

To this day, this concept reigns true, yet we are judging ourselves, and others, so harshly that we end up having a negative perspective and outlook. Unfortunately, we as a society are very hypercritical. We tend to be the toughest critics and the harshest on ourselves. Having negative self-talk is very damaging and so unkind to ourselves! I have came up with a few quidding questions in which to engage in meta-cognitive thinking.

Am I Kind to Myself? A Map To Kinder Self-Talk and Metacognition

• When I think about myself do I tend to immediately think of positive adjectives or negative?

  -Put thought in how we talk to ourselves, it is the voice we hear most! (we can’t tune ourselves out, unfortunately!) haha

• Is it hard for me to compliment myself or focus on the good that I am doing?

  -I challenge you to start the day by with, “I am strong! I am going to get through today because I am amazing. I also encourage you to say a few good things about yourself verbally at the start of the day. One about your kindness, morals, character (because this is the base of who we are and what we should be most proud of), one about your looks, and one about how you treat others. In saying, what I call the three layers of compliments, we see ourselves as a well rounded individual, and although we may feel we lack in a particular area, it helps to realize we thrive in others!

• When thinking about my positive attributes do I catch myself adding “but…” to the end of the statement? For example: “But I could work on this or do that better… or So and So has this or seems so good at that.

  -If the answer is yes, I encourage you to catch yourself in the process of doing so and to retrain your brain. I encourage you to say three nice things about yourself (your character, attributes, looks, morals, talents, etc.) Pump yourself up instead of tearing yourself down!

• If someone was saying the things that I think about myself to or about someone I love, would I feel sad or angry?

  -If your answer is yes, I invite you to question yourself as to why you would fault someone saying such things to you or your loved ones, yet you give yourself a free pass to tear yourself down.

• If I were to say the things that I think about myself TO someone I love, would they be hurt?

  -If the answer is yes, I challenge you to reflect on why you value the feelings of someone you love more than your own sentiments.

• If someone verbally said the things I think about myself to me, would I feel sad, down, angry, or upset?

  -If the answer is yes, I encourage you to remember that internal dialogue has the same effects as auditory stimulus.

  Love,

  Kennedy

Being Kind to Everyone Means Everyone, Even Yourself

All through growing up, I heard time and time again, “be kind to everyone you meet and leave their day better than when you entered it.” I took this to heart, as I do everything in my life since I am a very caring individual. Up until recently I thought of this mantra as a way to treat others, even strangers, those who do not show kindness to you, and of course your loved ones. Recently my perspective changed.

Due to complications with my health I was hospitalized for two weeks. In this time, I met doctors and nurses who showed me immense kindness and some who did not. Some showed me love, grace, compassion, empathy and kindness through their care, and for this I am forever thankful.

During my stay, I learned a life lesson that I will not soon forget. One of my doctors told me, “the kindness and love you show others, especially your little sister, is what you must show yourself too.” I think that this statement holds HUGE weight. Often times, we are so concerned with being kind to others, that it never occurs to us to be kind to ourselves. God made everyone in His image and likeness, even you. The love, mercy and kindness God calls us to shower upon others is also meant for you. If we do not treat ourselves with this kindness and grace, how must we expect others to do the same? We must be kind with ourselves, no matter what page of the story of our life we are on. Whether we be on the amazing chapter that keeps getting better with each line, or the chapters that are hard to get through.. each chapter holds great importance, and we must get through each in order to fulfill God’s plan for us. The truth is, no matter how many times someone reads your story, or thinks they know the synopsis, they have never once been the main character in your book. You are the only person who has filled this role in said story. You are the only one who knows exactly what you have been through, and how each chapter of life has impacted you. Through this process we must be kind to everyone, especially ourselves. Please show yourself the kindness you show to the person you love most, because honestly, this person should be the person staring back at you in the mirror.

Love,

Kennedy